![]() ![]() Gifts are often a symbol of the relationship. And then that way you can just keep a stock answer of relatively inexpensive things you always appreciate such as a box of your favorite candy or some loose leaf tea if you are a drink tea drinker. I would discuss with your husband and see if his family Dynamics are amenable to something such as instituting secret Santa where the adults just pick one person and the gift-giving is primarily focused on the children in the family. Charitable gifting can also be a very personal thing and people often have their own pet charities they prefer or have issues with certain charities. And many people just simply enjoy the act of picking something out for someone and or the act of giving a physical gift. For instance a family that is not well off and uses Christmas as a yearly splurge to indulge in things they might not do during the year could feel put out by the request. Some of it depends on the dynamics of the family. However I think the more polite thing to do would have been to Simply decline their offer of a gift or perhaps suggesting they divert that gift money to do something a little extra for the children in the family. Since they specifically asked then that is a bit more acceptable. As in you just walked in and said for Christmas I’d prefer you all donate to this charity acting on the presumption that they were going to get you a gift in the first place. I think it would be very rude if you gave that information unsolicited. I think for the most part this is a know your audience sort of thing. ![]()
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